Bomb

I have this bomb inside of me, ticking
It is created from the shrapnel that is my past  

I keep everything I have shut in, to not let it explode
It is always there, present and slumbering, sizzling

I live and function and never tell anyone
It has gradually become my focus and safety
I protect it, knowing how to, makes me me
It is always there, in the back- and foreground

I am scared that the bomb will explode, it must.
Its purpose is exploding, it has to in time.
I plead and hide and lie to postpone the inevitable  
It is always able to decide,
It must any tick tick ticking second now

BOOM

I count the number of pieces I am scattered in
I realize the uselessness of the prepared explanations
I see all I did out of fear was never preventing me from breaking

I bring them together, and I recognize my colors in the scraps
I take thousands of seconds of sweat, to suture and weave.
I could have noticed earlier, but now grasp the absence of the perpetual sound

The ticking
It is gone.
I find myself in secluded silence
So I promise me
I will create something bold
Something new Inspired by the old
Now that I no longer carry the burden of fear
I am not scared to explode again